Sad day

I'm glad I had today off from work as I have been a bum all day and feeling really emotional after getting my period today. I never really realized how hard it would be to get my first one since we have been TTC again after both losses. I just feel I should have a little one in my arms and not an empty heart. I also have to find out some more information about a familial health concern that might cause me to TTA again. This is so not where I want to be right now...