Sunday, January 8, 2012

Over It?

I was told recently that I can't dwell on my loss. this makes me sad for several reasons.

1) I don't think I am dwelling on it. My life goes on outside the miscarriage. I've been working, crafting, reading, exercising, and working on the house. Most of these don't get a mention in conversation because they are the same old routine, but I am still living life. Honestly, it is just that the holidays make thinking about the loss worse, and it doesn't help when there are two pregnancy announcements in one day. To be clear I am happy for those who get pregnant, but it doesn't make it any less hard to hear.

2) It just goes to show how misunderstood miscarriage is, but it is still hard for somebody you trust to not understand. A person I know once said despite having living children and grandchildren that she still thinks of the ones she lost. Does it get easier, yes, but they are still in your heart.

3) There is no time limit on grief. I would never tell someone that "your mother, father, friend, etc. died over a year ago you just need to get over it already". Unfortunately 3 months after two back to back losses people feel they can say that to be because it is "just a fetus". I just want to say to the world that it isn't just a fetus. It is hopes and dreams. Dreams not only of who this child will be, but also of being a mother. So anyways, I'm sorry I am not over my loss as quickly as you want me to be, but luckily it isn't you I need to answer to.

2 comments:

  1. I agree with all of this completely! My family tells me all the time to "just get over it". It is so hurtful. **Hugs**

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  2. Thanks Rose! I'm sorry you are getting this too. Luckily most people we have told have been really good.

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